“CHARMED” RETROSPECT: (6.17) “Hyde School Reunion”

 

“CHARMED” RETROSPECT: (6.17) “Hyde School Reunion”

”Hyde School Reunion” is an episode from Season Six of the TV series, ”CHARMED” (1998-2006). It is viewed as controversial by many fans of the show. I wish I could say that its controversy revolved around any innovative storytelling. I wish I could say this . . . but I cannot. Because ”Hyde School Reunion” is without a doubt one of the worst ”CHARMED”episodes to air on television.

In this episode, Phoebe (Alyssa Milano) inadvertently cast a spell – written in her high school yearbook – that allowed her wild personality from her “troubled” adolescent to take over her. And this all happened at her tenth high school reunion. At the same time, Piper (Holly Maries Combs) is trying to figure out why Chris (Drew Fuller), who had recently been revealed as her son from the future, has been avoiding her. She recruits the help of her dad Victor Bennett (James Read) to delve into the big mystery. In the end, Piper and Victor learned that Chris is wary of Piper’s presence, because she is destined to die fourteen years in the future. Ugh. Also, Chris is being hunted by Scabber demons. As for Phoebe . . . oh God, it resulted in one big mess.

In a nutshell, younger Phoebe or ”Freebie” – as one of her old schoolmates had nicknamed her – wrecked havoc with magic by plotting the escape of an old classmate named Rick Gittridge (Rodney Rowland) from jail. When Rick realized that his former classmate can use magic, he wants her – namely Phoebe – to help him rob an armored car. I would loveNOT to go into details of how this all unfolds. Must I? Must I do this? Sigh! I suppose I must. Anyway, the other two Halliwells whisked Phoebe back to the Manor before she could do anything about Rick. When she returned to Rick, Phoebe learned that one of her old school mates, Ramona, is missing. Rick had kidnapped her to secure Phoebe’s help. They robbed an armored car, but Phoebe cast a spell upon Rick, making him believe that the cops are almost upon them. They fled back to the Manor, where Rick ended up insisting that Phoebe give him a new face before he tells her where Ramona is. Paige appeared and Phoebe suggested that the younger sister give Rick Chris’ face. Chris – who is being hunted by Scabber demons. Rick ended up pleased – until the Scabber demons show up and killed him.

The positive aspects of ”Hyde School Reunion” came in the subplot involving Chris, Piper and Victor. Although I could not understand why Chris could warn his grandfather to stop smoking in order to avoid emphysema and prevent Paige from being killed by Titans (see ”Oh Goddess!” from late Season 5), prevent Wyatt from turning evil, yet could not warn his mother that she will be dead in fourteen years for fear of changing the timeline? What the hell? What saved this subplot were the performances of Chris Fuller, Holly Marie Combs and James Read.

Unfortunately, the major plotline for ”Hyde School Reunion” revolved around Phoebe’s high school reunion and her messy little ”flashback” to her adolescent past. There was so much wrong with this story that I had to make a list:

*Phoebe graduated from high school in 1994? In 1994, she was eighteen, going on nineteen. What happened? She had to repeat a grade?

*Alyssa Milano and Rose McGowan’s outfits at the reunion – questionable. Poor Rose looked as if her jacket was made from the fur of a dead animal that had the bad luck to be dyed in a garish turquoise blue. Alyssa’s boobs looked as if they threatened to pop out any minute. Even worse, her nipples are so obvious that they seemed toshout at the television screen.

*In the previous episode, ”The Courtship of Wyatt’s Father”, Leo finally managed to boink Piper and plant baby Chris in her. Yet, in the following episode – namely this one – Piper is “months” pregnant. How many months had passed between the two episodes? I realize that Holly Marie Combs was pregnant at the time, but talk about ill timing!

*Why do nearly every Halliwell sister either seemed to possess that hideous hairstyle that consisted of long hair and bangs, braces or all? Do you think I am exaggerating? Take a gander at the photos below –

Prue transformed back to her seventeen year-old self in “Be Careful What You Witch For”

Piper’s high school yearbook photo in “Coyote Piper”

Phoebe’s high school yearbook photo in “Hyde School Reunion”

Paige transformed back to her seventeen year-old self in “A Paige From the Past”

*Phoebe wrote a poem in her high school yearbook . . . that turned out to be a spell? My God, how lame!

*How is it that one of Phoebe’s old gym teacher, Miss Hickok, has no idea that Phoebe is now a famous columnist, whose mug is plastered on billboards all over San Francisco?

*I realize that in this episode, Freebie has adult Phoebe’s powers. Could someone please explain how she learned how to use magic? Please? Adult Phoebe knew nothing of magic until she was two months shy of her 23rd birthday? How did adolescent Freebie suddenly learn how to cast a spell and turn her old classmates into teenaged Neanderthals? Hell, the only magic that Phoebe knew around 22 and 23 were the old ”The Power of Three will set us free” chant and her premonitions, over which she had (and possessed) no control.

*Chris, who is the son of a chef, had no idea what mutton was? Being a vegetarian is no excuse. Unless mutton no longer exists in the 2020s.

*Why were Scabber demons after Chris? That story plot had evaded me.

*Could someone PLEASE explain how Freebie managed to shapeshift Rick, who was disguised as a guard, back to his old self with a flick of her wrist? HOW? Even adult Phoebe lacked this ability. She would have had to use a spell or chant to do this. Shapeshifting was not one of her psi abilities.

*Between the time Piper and Paige had teleported Phoebe from the warehouse to the Manor and back took less than a minute. How did Rick managed to tie up Todd – another Freebie classmate – and hide Ramona in that short space of time?

*Why didn’t Phoebe simply use a spell to coerce Rick into revealing where he had hidden Ramona . . . instead of aiding him in his so-called crime spree?

The major faux pas of ”Hyde School Reunion” centered around the death of Rick Gittridge. Many fans have commented on certain acts surrounding the unfolding events. One, why did Paige fail to teleport orb the shotgun from Rick’s hand? Two, why did Phoebe suggest that Paige turn Rick’s face into Chris’ face before Rick could verify where he had hidden Ramona . . . so that the Scabber demons would go after him? Why did she not do the dirty deed, herself?

Some member of a ”CHARMED” message board once commented that this entire scene lacked sense because as ”good witches”, the Charmed Ones would have never set up a human to be killed by demons. I say . . . bullshit to that! The Halliwells have proven in the past how murderous and self-righteous they could be. How many times has Prue – believing to be wronged – allowed her temper to get the best of her? In “P3 H2O”, a very self-righteous Phoebe had accused Sam Wilder – Mommy Dearest’s whitelighter and Paige’s dad – of failing to save Patty before the latter was killed by a water demon. Paige was stupid, murderous and self-righteous enough to attempt to kill Cole when he had finally given up on getting Phoebe back in ”Centennial Charmed”. ”Mortality Bites” is a prime example of how murderous and self-righteous the Halliwells can be. I will tell you exactly what really bothered me about ”Hyde School Reunion”:

Phoebe: How do we know you’re telling the truth?

Rick: You don’t. Now, my face. Make it different. Heartbreaking, charming, young.

(Phoebe gets an idea.)

Phoebe: You know, I’m thinking maybe you should use our nephew for inspiration.

Paige: “Who you were, you’re now another, take the face of Wyatt’s brother.”

(Rick turns into Chris. He looks in the mirror.)

Chris: Yeah, I like it. This’ll work.

Paige: Pheebs, watch out, this could get messy. (Phoebe and Paige hide behind a wall. Three Scabbar demons appear in the room. Rick shoots at them but doesn’t harm them. They spit the green acid goo at Rick which melts him to nothing. The demons disappear. Phoebe and Paige come out from behind the wall.) You okay?

Phoebe: Yeah.

Paige: You know you had to, right?

Phoebe: I know.

She had to? Phoebe had to give Chris’ face to Rick, knowing that her nephew was being hunted by Scabber demons? Why was it necessary for Phoebe to set Rick up to be murdered? Who in the fuck approved this episode? Oh yes, some joker named Brad Kern. If he is still producing television, the son-of-a-bitch should give up and take up a profession that suits his lack of talent. Moron. And I wonder if Alyssa Milano and Rose McGowan had expressed concerns about what Phoebe and Paige did to Rick. If they did not, they should be ashamed of themselves.

This episode truly ranks as among the worst of the series’ eight year history. Honestly. And the fact that it climaxed into the murder of a human, thanks to the scheming of two of the three major characters really sticks in my craw. But what really pisses me off about ”Hyde School Reunion” is that Kern actually believed that the viewers would sit in front of a television set and accept that Phoebe and Paige’s murderous act was ”necessary”, is an insult not only to my intelligence, but to the intelligence of the series’ many other viewers and fans.

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“CHARMED” – Things That Make Me Go . . . Hmmm?

The following is a list of questions regarding storylines that have been featured in past episodes of “CHARMED”. If you have an answer to any of my questions, please feel free to reply.

“CHARMED” – Things That Make Me Go . . . Hmmm?

1. In Season 7’s “A Call to Arms”, how did Inspector Sheridan and nearly everyone else know about Chris’ death in the Season 6 finale, “It’s a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World II”, when just about everyone – except for Leo and the Halliwells – had lost their memories of that alternate dimension, following Gideon’s death?

 
2. Why did Vinceres tell Prue that her powers were no good, when she was using martial arts and not magic, against him in Season 3’s “Primrose Path”?

 
3. Why did Cole in S7’s “The Seven Year Witch” confess to deliberately impregnating Phoebe in late Season 4, when he was actually possessed by the Source at that time?

 

 

4. Why did warlocks in Season 1 morph into vampiric game faces? Are they not suppose to be witches (who are mortals) that had simply gone bad?

 
5. Speaking of warlocks, why were they portrayed as immortals? Was Constance Burge, Brad Kern and their writers trying to hint that when witches become warlocks, they become immortals?

 
6. Why do the Charmed Ones keep referring to their witch ancestors as the “Halliwell women” or the “Halliwell line” in their conversations and spells? According to family tree depicted in Season 2’s “Pardon My Past”, their mother, Patty, was the first in their family to be born as a Halliwell.

 

 

7. And why did Grams remind Prue and Piper in S3’s “Just Harried” that the women in their family kept their maiden names after marriage? She used the name of Halliwell, which belonged to her first husband. And her maiden name was Johnson.

 
8. And what was the first name of the Charmed One’s maternal grandfather – Jack (S2’s “Pardon My Past”) or Allen (S6’s“Witchstock”)?

 
9. Why did Leo claim in S3’s “Exit Strategy” that he was born in 1924? Does this mean that he was attending medical school at the age of 17, when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor in December 1941?

 

 

10. Why would the BAY-MIRROR’s editor-in-chief, Elise Rothman, leave Phoebe, an advice columnist, in charge of the newspaper for a whole day in order to teach the witch a lesson in S7’s “Scry Hard”? Was she crazy?

 
11. Why did Leo tell Victor that the sisters were NOT mortals, when nearly every demon on the show has referred to them and other witches as mortals?

 
12. Both Cole and Vinceres had discussed that mortals (witches included) who were not natural empaths, could not handle an overload of emotions in “Primrose Path”. Yet, Prue had claimed demons could not handle such a large amount of emotions, despite the fact that Vinceres had carried Father Thomas’ empathy power for at least two years. Did the writer(s) of “Primrose Path” create a contradiction?

 

 

13. Why was the Source so contemptuous of Phoebe’s psychic abilities in Season 4’s “Charmed and Dangerous”, when he had relied so heavily upon seers like the Oracle and the Seer?

 
14. Why did Darryl take orders from Inspector Sheridan, when as a police lieutenant, he ranked higher?

 
15. How did Cole get his job back at Jackman, Carter and Kline at the beginning of Season 5?

 
16. Why are other witches on the show portrayed as helpless or semi-helpless?

 

 

17. Why did Leo assumed that Cole was automatically “good”, when the latter had lost his powers in S4’s “Black As Cole” and S7’s“Sympathy For the Demon”? Had he forgotten the evil humans that the sisters had confronted in the past?

 
18. Why did Phoebe assume that she would die on the same date that her past self had died, back in 1924 in “Pardon My Past”? She made this assumption before acquiring any real proof.

 
19. And why did Phoebe say in the above episode that she was the same age in February 2000, as her past self – P. Russell – was in February 1924? Phoebe was 24 years and 3 months old at the time. Her past self was 29½ years old at the time of her death.

 
20. Why did the Charmed Ones and Leo had automatically assumed that using the Hollow made Cole the Source? He had the old Source’s powers when the sisters killed the latter. And possessing Piper and Paige’s powers did not make the Source two-thirds of the Charmed Ones.

 

 

21. Why didn’t the Source simply kill the Charmed Ones after he had failed to turn Paige in “Charmed Again II”?

 
22. Why did Cole have such difficulty fighting the Halliwells in S3’s “Power Outage”, when had had managed to kill the more formidable Triad so easily?

 
23. Why are whitelighters (guardian angels) given authority over witches?

 

 

24. Why does the show feature witches engaged in demon hunting/slaying ONLY?

 
25. Once they had discovered that Cole was the Source in late S4, why didn’t the Charmed Ones bother to investigate on how he had become the Source in the first place?

 
26. How did Darryl explain Andy’s death inside the Halliwell manor in Season 1’s “Déjà vu All Over Again” to his supervisor?

 

 

27. Why didn’t Paige simply orb the gun out of Rick’s hand in S6’s “Hyde School Reunion”?

 
28. When Phoebe was taken over by the spirit (karma) of Mata Hari in S6’s “Used Karma”, why was she speaking with a French accent, when the former spy had been born in Java to Dutch parents?

 
29. Why did Phoebe become hostile toward Cole between the S4 finale, “Witch Way Is Now” and the S5 premiere, “A Witch’s Tail” after he had saved her life from the witch hunter, F.B.I. Agent Jackman?

 

 

30. Why would the supernatural world depend ONLY upon the Charmed Ones to fight demonic activity? What about other witches and demon hunters who were around long before the sisters had first retrieved their powers in the S1 premiere, “Something Wicca Comes This Way”?

 
31. Why is pyrokinesis (fire power) regarded by Leo and the Charmed Ones as evil in most of the episodes, and neutral in S4’s “Lost and Bound”?

 
32. Why did Cole have to become increasingly demonic in order to kill another half-demon in S4’s “Black As Cole”, when he did not have to do so in order to form an energy ball strong enough to kill the Source in “Brain Drain”?

 
33. Why would the Vampire Queen’s death enable Paige to avoid remaining a vampire in S4’s “Bite Me”? This does not make sense. Surely she should have remained a vampire, once she had been bitten.

 

 

34. How can the Charmed Ones travel to or exist in the past and their powers cannot, especially since their powers are supposed to be a part of themselves?

 
35. How can the Charmed Ones be witches, when they have never taken oaths or taken part in an initiation ceremony to become one?
36. According to the show, a witch becomes a warlock in the first place when he/she breaks his/her oath as a witch. So, why are warlocks described as immortals on the show?

 
37. Why does the Halliwell Museum of Witchcraft in “Chris-Crossed” featured the outfit Phoebe wore as a mermaid and the outfits the sisters wore in “Witches in Tights” (shudder!) on display? All outfits should have no longer existed, since Phoebe reverted back to being a human and the superheroine outfits were figments of that kid’s imagination.